Friday, March 1, 2013

Safe and Sound

You pee-pee heads. Oh wait, we’re gonna have a little girl on set today.     Micah
Yeah, we are.     Brandon
We’ll have to keep a lid on the potty talk.     Micah

Devin is her aunt. I mean, she’s Devin’s aunt.      Alivia’s Mom

Isn’t the light gone that the whole point of getting up this early to shoot was?     -Shiloh
I don’t want to talk about it.     Micah
Ok, we won’t talk about it.     Shiloh
Let’s talk about it.     Micah

I’m bipolar.     Micah
You know, in all my years of working with you, I have never noticed it.      –Shiloh
I lied. I’m not bipolar.     Micah

There’s a fine line between inspiration and imitation.     Shiloh

It’s not funny, but it’s profound.     Micah
No one’s gonna believe I said it.     Shiloh
Well, you’ve got 2 witnesses. Doesn’t it say by 2 or 3 witnesses?    -Micah
So Avatar’s true?     -Brandon
What?     -Micah

I brought a Pepsi to keep me awake.    Micah
As you drive off the road.     Brandon

These trees are beautiful.     Micah
I wish I had my camera.     Shiloh
I wish I had mine too.     Micah
Shut. Up.     Shiloh

Ow! That just poked me in the eye.     Alivia
My knee? I know, it’s sharp.      –Elwon

Let’s pretend you’re a bearded Taylor Swift. This is gonna work so well.     –Micah

Oh crap. I just stepped in a hole.     Alivia

Nature is fascinating!      -Elwon

Definitely put in the part where we’re laughing.     Elwon
Best apocalypse ever!     -Brandon

When do I get to do kung-fu? ‘Cuz I’m excited about that.     Elwon

I gotta pick these off my knees.     Elwon
Your white hairy knees.     Alivia
It’s a good thing I have no self-esteem, or else I would be crushed.     Elwon

I mean, how would you feel if I came up and wrote my name in your skin?    -Brandon
Honored.     Elwon

Well, we could act . . . just joking.      Elwon

No brain, no pain.     Elwon

You’re lookin’ a little . . . it’s a film shoot. Aren’t you supposed to dress up or something?     -Steve

Do you want the music on?    -Shiloh
I think we’re good for this.     Brandon
Do you want your car running?     -Shiloh
It’s Micah’s car, so I don’t care.       Brandon

Do you guys wanna watch, see how awesome you look?      -Micah
I don’t need to.     Elwon

Sorry.     Micah
For what?     -Shiloh
For hating that guy.     Micah

The only difference between fiction and reality is that fiction has to be believable.      Brandon

You guys didn’t realize I talk this much.     Elwon
No, we knew you talked this much. We spent 5 minutes with you last time and realized you talk this much.      Shiloh
. . . I’m sorry.      Elwon

If I can give birth to you, I don’t want to date you.      Elwon

The sun doesn’t wait for us!    -Micah
I thought you could control that, Micah.      Shiloh
Maybe if I were God! When I’m God, I’m gonna be making the best movies.     Micah
I’m sure you will be.      Shiloh

It’s a car, and we’re sitting in it sideways. It’s so artistic!     -Elwon

If you fall in, all that’s gonna happen is you’re gonna get wet.     –Shiloh
And it’s gonna hurt.      Micah
And diseases.      Brandon
Shh!    -Shiloh

My brain is so stupid! I’m sorry.     Elwon

I’m listening to my brain now. That makes sense.     Elwon

Go go Power Rangers!     -Keyko

Whoo! There it goes.    Micah
Did you just pee?    -Alivia
No, the water just hit screechy point.     Micah
Which is right below the waist.     Brandon

Why would they put sharp rocks in the river?    -Micah
Just for you, Micah.      Shiloh

Hey guys, please make sure to pick up your trash.      –Shiloh
Sorry, we can’t pick up you.     Alivia

I’m all sweaty.      Elwon
Why? It’s not like you’re doing anything.     Shiloh
Well, I do more than just stand around on set by my makeup kit.     Elwon

You’re talkin’ to a guy who doesn’t watch a lot of tv.      Elwon
And you call yourself an actor?    -Micah
Uh, yeah.     Elwon

This might offend someone, but uh . . . I couldn’t finish John Carter.     Elwon

I think I woulda loved this more if the music had been done by Hans Zimmer. Then it would have been legit.      Elwon

It’s like a nightmare, but happy.    Brandon
That doesn’t make any sense.    Micah

That’s a great happy nightmare.    Brandon
I think they have different words for a happy nightmare.     Micah

You guys are like, 20 years younger than me, and I was schooling all of them.     Elwon

You just passed my house, but it’s ok.     Micah

Look at you! You’re all grownup now.     Elwon

Do you have internet here?     -Brandon
What do you think this is, the Stone Age?     -Micah

So, premise of this movie, guy gets set up on a blind date and picks up the wrong girl.     Brandon
That sounds awesome.     Elwon

Now I want to know what the setup is. This is so random!      -Elwon

You can’t make your face turn into ET face!     -Brandon

You know, I grew up in Montana, so we got bored a lot.     Elwon

This time I will act.      Elwon
That would be helpful.    Shiloh
For the first time ever!    -Alivia

Well, after I saw your ninja play . . .     Brandon
What’s that supposed to mean?     -Elwon
It means you’re intense.     Brandon

Cheetos and water. Breakfast of kings.    Steve

Another one of those. Maybe 2.     Micah

I don’t need to see it. I am it.     Elwon

I can balance like this cuz I have sexy toy flaps.    

Micah left us.     
Yes, he did.    
I feel abandoned!     -
You should.    

Is there a reason Micah is shirtless?     -Brandon
Micah’s shirtless? What? Why is Micah’s shirt always off in this shoot?     Shiloh

Fine. No one help me.     Alivia
You’re a big girl.    Shiloh

It was good. It wasn’t perfect.     Micah

Yes! Yes! Ok, ok, stop. Stop fighting!    -Micah

Look at you, bein’ all fancy.     Shiloh
That’s ‘cuz I’m fancy. Fancy-cakes.      Micah

Just call me MacGuyver.    Shiloh

Yeah! I’m Micah’s B!     -Brandon
We know.     Shiloh
What else is new?   -Rob
Who isn’t?     -Shiloh

Makeup. Yay makeup.     Elwon

Dude. Look how epic you look.     Micah
That’s pretty epic.     Elwon

You could ignore us and then talk nasty behind our back and it’d still be gracious.     Brandon

Savannah, he’s 16. Will you wait for him?    -Steve

That would be robbing the cradle.     Savannah
There is no cradle in the apocalypse.    Brandon

Brandon, you are showing . . .    Elwon
So much midriff.     Brandon

Oh my gosh. I feel so good about what I do.    –Elwon

Have you ever read The Road?    -Brandon
No.     Elwon
But I’ve driven on it.     Steve

He has musical turetz. Let’s not talk about it.    Micah

Did you just bite my leg?     -Elwon

If you get me sick, I will beat you. With an apple branch.     Shiloh

So, if I have AIDS, do they want my plasma?     -Micah

It’s the apocalypse. We can do what we want.     Elwon

Oh. Oh yeah.     Brandon and Micah
What are they watching?     -Elwon

I just got violated in a Korean way.     Elwon

Awkward in the orchard. It’s a segment.     Savannah

Why is that funny? I was mad.     Micah

Wow. It doesn’t even look like they’re separated.     Brandon
That’s the point, Brandon.      Micah

Everybody do the Micah!   -Alyssa
You can’t do this! This took 18 years of practice!     -Micah

Stop mocking me! I feel like I’m back in high school.    Micah

That was great. I liked that one. Now, back to one. Let’s do it again.      Micah

*phone ringing*
Alyssa, see who it is.      Steve
It stopped, so it’s ok.     Alyssa

I might pee my pants. I mean, this dress.     Savannah

I feel so excluded.     Micah

Nice, Brandon.      Shiloh
Yeah, I’m pretty amazing.     Brandon

It just wants some water in the pocket.      Elwon

Did you have a lot of fun on Saturday, waiting for me?     -Elwon

I’ll switch you. You look like a fairy with those. No. I’m kidding. You look pretty.      Savannah

Don’t do anything Asian right now, please. I will laugh so hard.     Savannah

Make sure to look at the camera the whole time. They love it when you do that.      Elwon
The camera loves it when you do that.      Micah

A lot of the editors in Utah, umm . . .     Brandon
They like boys.      Micah

Let’s do it again. I walked into a branch and it ruined the shot.      Brandon

It was actually super pretty.     Savannah
If you like stuff that looks like dead spider stuff! It didn’t look pretty in the camera.     Micah

I was almost peeing my pants right there.     –Savannah
TMI.     Micah

Can you move the shit . . . the bounce board?     -Brandon

Are you ready for epic-osity?     -Micah

Oh no, it stopped! I had epic-osity going!     -Micah

I put a camera on you, you act!      -Micah

What are you writing down?     -
Everything.     Shiloh               

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