Missed Connections

Public Service Announcement

Due to the abnormal amount of Spencers on this shoot, they could not all be referred to by their first name in this post. The Spencers featured in these quotes are as follows: Spencer Carter (sound), Spencer Humphrey (grip), and Spencer Scanlon (grip).We apologize for the confusion, and now return to our regularly scheduled programming.

Nobody said there wasn’t good food in hell. –Rob

I have that same coat, and you’re making me really glad that I didn’t wear it. –Jacob

You could always go car salesman. –Jacob

I prefer door-to-door sales. –Micah

I’m really glad we’re doing the writing before the movie. –Micah

I hope I can help more than hinder. –Katie

We do too. –Brandon

How about a lesbian gnome? -Micah

NO! -Joey

My iPod is made out of corn. -Cliff

Right here, we only see his back, and we wanna see his face. It’s a beautiful face. –Micah

It is. You have a picture of it. –Lawrence

We have some barn doors mia. –Micah

That’s why she has clothespins attached to her pants. –Humphrey

Umm, these are safety pins. –Shiloh

I knew that. Ugh. Fail. I’m just gonna go read or something. –Humphrey

It’s nice to see nothing’s changed. –Shiloh

As long as I own your soul . . . –Rob

I’m sorry. I led you astray. –Joey

Lawrence is more, ‘If I only had a brain.’ -Joey

If the audience sees that, they’re an idiot. –Micah

I’m excited to work with all you . . . what do they call you? -Boston

People. –Lawrence

I’m excited to work with all you people. Normally I only work with robots and computers. –Boston

Just lean in – you don’t actually have to kiss. –Micah

Why would you say that? -Lawrence

Oh my gosh! This shot’s awesome. –Micah

You can kick Shiloh out. –Humphrey

You can try. –Shiloh

Try and remember exactly where you are. –

Oh crap. –Lawrence

Dimples! -Lawrence

This is the master. It’s just an awesome master. –Micah

Is that mine? Whose is this? That’s not mine. –Micah

This looks like such a movie set. –Joey

Call me Boomer. –Spencer

I am a douche. Women are my conquests. –Lawrence

You’re probably one of those guys who keeps a book. –Rob

A book? Please. There’s an app for that now. –Joey

Zero calories is too many for me. –Tatum

Can I call you Humperdink? -Micah

Sure. I don’t love the man, but yeah, you can call me that. –Humphrey

I accidentally squeaked the dolly. And no, that’s not a euphemism. –Eric

I love the stickiness of hot lighted rooms. –Spencer

Spencer, get to your post. Stop eating and reading. Who do you think you are? -Micah

I don’t know. A billion sounds a little excessive. –Micah

No. It was exactly one billion. –Humphrey

Spencer, I’ve told you a million times not to exaggerate. –Micah

I love you Spencer, but I can’t do this. –Micah

Holding for collisions. –Brandon

I’ve gotta find out who left their strawberry on my binder, cuz that’s not mine. –Shiloh

What kind of metaphor is that? -Lawrence

Wouldn’t you like to know. –Shiloh

Can we shoot the lawn mower? -

With a gun? -

I want the people upstairs to disappear. –Spencer

If we start rapping, that means we’re set. –Eric

You know what we need right now? We need an on-set airbender. –Joey

What were you doing in there with that banana, young man? -Lawrence

Do you really want to know? -Shiloh

I do, actually. Yeah. –Lawrence

You look like a bird. –Shiloh

I usually get pony. –Boston

That French toast tastes so sad. –Brandon

Remember how I told you to always keep your hands above your head? I lied. –Spencer

There were pieces that were good. –Micah

I like pizza. –Eric

Where do you want your eye boogers, Micah? Really. –Humphrey

That’s why I come to these things. Food. Shelter. Warmth. –Eric

It’s just redundant. It makes you sound dumber than you already are. –Joey

Alright, settle, energy, action! -Brandon

No, Joey, she won’t touch you up. –Lawrence

Says you, Lawrence. –Shiloh

Anyone wanna go for 1%? -Eric

Your face is on the line here. –Joey

What a loveably hateable guy. –Joey

Water anyone? Don’t be a hero. –Joey

I don’t wanna be a hero. Gimme a water. –Spencer

If you freeze to death on our sets, it’s your own fault. –Joey

Girls. –Eric

I’ll do something to disappoint you. –Brandon

Promise? -Shiloh

Holding for sneezing. –Boston

One more for safety. –Boston

Not for safety. For dolly. –Micah

One more for dolly . . . safety. –Boston

*singing* I’m a vampire, I’m a vampire, I’m a vampire! -Brandon

You’re a 20’s vampire. –Shiloh

Can I get a huggable handsome hero? -Joey

Kirkland cinnamon. It’s brown, like me. –Joey, mocking Lawrence

Rehearsal’s up, please stop dropping the slate. –Micah

Even better in person. –Joey

In real life. –Lawrence

Even better in real life. –Joey

Just give me some ice cream and I will be one depressed chica. –Tatum

I’ve only actually done this once. –Tatum

Don’t tell us that. –Joey

Apparently Tatum, you don’t look good with lamp head. –Rob

I’ve figured out what this scene is missing. Reference to zombie invasion. –Rob

I’ve done this before. The Ho-ster trained me once upon a time. –Humphrey

It smells like my bathroom. –Micah

Thanks for sharing, Micah. –Shiloh

It actually does smell like his bathroom. –Boston

We gotta hurry. The ice cream is melting. –Joey

They lied. This didn’t go through my body and blow up my head and make speakers. –Brandon

That’s Sprite. –Shiloh

Oh. I should’ve bought Sprite. –Brandon

I’m in focus. –Brandon

I’m acting in focus. –Tatum

Ouch! My mom always told me not to go outside with my shoes off. Actually, I don’t know where my shoes are. –Micah

How was that exit? -Brandon

There was no exit . . . –Micah

So basically, it’s saying don’t eat all of this in one sitting. -Tatum

It’s ice cream’s way of saying drink responsibly. –Joey

I hate this job most of all. –Humphrey

Hey! I’m standing right here. –Sean

I hate this job. –Humphrey

And it hates you. –Joey

Are you gonna close that matte box? -Boston

5 points from Hufflepuff. –Micah

I’m not Hufflepuff! -Eric

Look at Micah, bein’ all manly. –Shiloh

What am I, chopped liver? -Joey

Did you not hear the sarcasm in my voice? -Shiloh

Mind the gap. –Humphrey

Remember how I told you not to be late yesterday, and then I was late today? -Micah

So, remember when that guy totally took you out? -Tatum

You don’t get those kind of nuanced insults without direct contact. –Eric

Is Rachel here? -Emma

No. –Shiloh

Oh. I thought she was. –Emma

Well, she was. And then she wasn’t. –Shiloh

I wasn’t looking for apple juice. But I found it. –Kevin

I’m so glad I cast both of you in this role. –Joey

How’s the steering? -Boston

It’s pretty stiff. –Kevin

Do you guys want a paper towel? Cuz I have one. –Shiloh

We used our shirts. It was cool. It makes us more manly. –Micah

If the sun’s not behind us, this bounce is useless. –Micah

It . . . looks pretty. –Shiloh

It looks retarded. I mean, what kind of moron puts something like that on the head of a car? -Micah

I will not stand for this lack of grammatical precision. –Humphrey

I’m sick of shorts. –Humphrey

I hear his voice, and then I’m like, is he here or am I hearing things? –Shiloh

Oh, I’m sorry. Was I being too sarcastic? -Eric

Micah, please don’t die on this shoot. –Humphrey

Hold for Micah falling off the trailer. –Rob

Yes, I would like some hash muffins. –Kevin

That was my bad, Rachel. I dodged when I should have weaved. –Joey

It’s like you have doll eyes or something. It’s crazy. –Joey

Did you guys see the naked guy? -Boston

It’s not about what I can settle for, it’s about what I want. –Brandon

You know what? Some of us are old-fashioned. –Shiloh

Your mom’s old-fashioned. –Kevin

Old-fashioned like dinosaurs. –Brandon

And now dinosaurs are at the zoo. –Tatum

You’re looking more alert than you were half an hour ago. –Joey

Me? -Brandon

Never mind. –Shiloh

Let’s get this shot done so we can go home and make love to our wives, and whatnot. –Boston

Some of us don’t have wives. –Shiloh

Yeah, what are we supposed to do? -Rachel

I said, “and whatnot.” -Boston

What he means is you two get what, and he gets not. –Brandon

If you guys see it on me, hit me. Where the spider is. –Emma

It’s like a base tan. I’ve never had one of those before. –Emma

I’m not afraid of spiders. I’m just afraid of spiders that I can’t find after I see them. –Emma

This is a safe park. You won’t get mugged here. –Micah

We get to follow a Frisbee? -Emma

Can I just roll my eyes for a minute? -Tatum

I’m on what you might call an academic diet. –Eric

I don’t have to smell it. I can taste it. –Kevin

Oh, come on. –Tatum

There’s sneaky bacon in here! -Kevin

I wait til Christmas to go to the DMV. –Eric

I’m Boston, and I know fancy words. –Kevin

Because your eyes are half-closed like that, I can’t take you seriously. –Tatum

He’s Asian. –Kevin

You can’t take me seriously because of my ethnicity. –Brandon

That’s not what I meant! -Tatum

I guess the difference between me and Micah is that I can be 1^st AD and DP at the same time. –Boston

Oh, like I’ve never done that before. –Micah

It is God lighting this right now. Let’s give credit where credit is due. –Micah

Why does everything have to be in relation to your body? -Eric

I have to shave. I feel Jewish. Not that I have anything against them, but the neck beard just isn’t working for me. –Humphrey

Do your look where you look. –Micah

You didn’t inflate my head. –Kevin

Did I inflate a different part of your body? Cuz that would just be awkward. –Joey

I was gonna try and make something funny, but it was just gonna take way too long. –Tatum

Boston, do you have a job? -Tatum

I just sit down in a chair, and everyone else makes me look good. It’s amazing! -Brandon

I think Joey has a thing about eating food. –Brandon

You know what? So do I. I have a thing about eating food. –Kevin

There was a bug. –Tatum

I know. I watched it. –Kevin

You just watched it? -Tatum

There was nothing I could do! -Kevin

Just a couple shots, and then we’re gonna do a little thing I like to call lunch. –Boston

Ok, a little less thinking about the fact that you’re walking. –Boston

Not to be sexist, but there’s three girls and two guys in this shot. Can I talk to the director about this? -Brandon

Let’s break for lunch, what do you guys say? -Boston

I say yes. –Brandon

Am I walking again, or can I put on my stopwatch? -Emma

Let me take a peek. –Brandon

How ‘bout you take a gander? -Joey

I’ll take a gander. I love gandering. –Brandon

Hey Steve, can you fix the weather, man? -Rob

Wait, fix the weather, or fix the weatherman? -Humphrey

I love the wind. It reminds me of Oregon. And lighthouses. –Humphrey

I should probably be in this shot. –Tatum

You can’t sit on that. –Spencer

I am. –Emma

Well, I said no. –Spencer

Ok everyone, really believe in yourself for this take. –Boston

Oh, the dolly’s crying. It’s sad. –Eric

Holding on Boston’s popularity. –Brandon

Can you come in a little sooner? -Micah

I’ll come in when I wanna come in. –Steve

Did you see my happy dance? -Brandon

It doesn’t look as cuddly as I imagined. –Spencer

Boston stole your bike. –Rachel

I figured . . . wait, what? -Felicia

I wish you had a quote in your quote book, but he hasn’t said it yet, where he (Kevin) comes up to you and says, “Shmear me.” -Joey

With this much wind, we should have the dead cat. –Joey

*singing* Divin’ in the dumpster for sandwiches! -Kevin

Kevin, you’re sounding more and more like a hobo. –Joey

Can we have the righteous among us ask God for a silk cloud? -Brandon

Okay, who among us overshot the mark when they prayed for no rain? -Brandon

It was Rob. –Spencer

I don’t know why girls even do that. –Kevin

Making movies makes me nervous. And anxious. –Joey

I know what you mean. –Tatum

I swear, we’re all closet masochists. –Brandon

That got really awkward. Really awkward fast. –Joey

Why do phones always question you? -Joey

Friday shoot? 6. P.m. In the evening. –Joey

It’s not you, it’s not me, it’s us. –Boston

No, I don’t need to see her turn around. I’ve watched her jog by like, 50 times. –Joey

How tall are you? -Tatum

It tastes like the inside of a band-aid. –Boston

How do you know what the inside of a band-aid tastes like? -Kevin

Were you never 5? -

What are you talking about? I’m 20. –Boston

Did you just growl at me? Felicia just growled at me. I think she’s a tiger. –

You have no idea. –

No one heard that but you. –

Remember! I want him to try and catch you, but walk slow. –Brandon

Pretend you’re walkin’ with your grandma. –Boston

Holding for bad jokes. –Boston

Not everyone can pull off the hand gestures like you can. –Shiloh

Kevin can. I know him. –Boston

Can I get a couple of different zombie lines from you? -Brandon

Cuz zombie lines are cool. –Rob

Back to one, and I will let you do whatever zombie you want. –Brandon

They’ll just fix it in post. –Cliff

I like your attitude, Cliff. –Rob

I liked it the way it was written before. Uncut it. –Joey

You guys learned the tango they want in this scene, right? -Boston

Yes. –Tatum

No. –Kevin

What?! -Tatum

So, someone told me you were a lesbian. Is that true? -Boston

Who told you that? It’s supposed to be a secret! -Shiloh

No one told me that. But now I know. –Boston

Damn. –Shiloh

Is that your boyfriend? -Boston

If I had a boyfriend, maybe. –Shiloh

Like you need a boyfriend. –Boston

We got some zoobies, let’s hold for ‘em. –Boston

Did you just hidokan me? -Boston

No. –Kevin

You just hidokaned me. –Boston

No. –Kevin

Are you lying to me? -Boston

No. That was clearly a kamehameha wave. –Kevin

Oh. I don’t know the difference. –Boston

There isn’t one. –Kevin

Oh, I see a physics lesson I don’t wanna teach. –Boston

Do you guys wanna practice dancing? Oh wait, did I just give you direction? Ignore that. -Boston

We got everything done yesterday. –Micah

That’s what’s important, I guess. –Shiloh

Our lives aren’t important. –Micah

Nope. No they’re not. –Shiloh

Please tell me that’s a bag of weed. –Kevin

That’s a bag of weed. –Shiloh

It’s not a bag of weed. It’s dog poop. Not an acceptable substitute. –Kevin

We should not be held responsible for anything we say before 9 o’clock. –Rachel

What’s Man in the Park’s name? -Tina

Carlos. –Shiloh

Isn’t it Jerry? -Tina

No, pretty sure it’s Carlos. –Shiloh

I mean his real name. –Tina

. . . –Shiloh

Like, in the movie. –Tina

Ohhh. –Shiloh

Yeah. His real fake name is Jerry. –Rachel

Why weren’t we rolling, Micah?! -Brandon

Cuz you said it was rehearsal! -Micah

So, if the last shot of the day is the martini shot, is the first shot of the day the coffee shot? -Spencer

I just heard you say something which I’m pretty sure you didn’t say. –Shiloh

I said I took a script supervisor class. –Emma

Yeah. I heard strip server. –Shiloh

Aha, no. –Emma

Everyone’s naming their kids Spencer these days. –Scanlon

Actually, it was like, 20 years ago. –Humphrey

This next take is brought to you by . . . –Boston

The letter A. –Scanlon

The sand bags. Cinema Sandbags, never leave home without them. –Boston

Back off my romance, sister. –Amanda

Can I get a little more weed whacker please? -Brandon

Scattered clapping. Way to go guys. –Scanlon

Cute. But not professional. –Kevin

That’s my excuse, and I‘m stickin’ with it. –Brandon

Thank you to the angel who brought in the clouds. It was very helpful. –Joey

Who is this old man? -Kevin

I think he’s a watcher. –Emma

But he’s got all this technology. –Kevin

Maybe it’s a police scanner. He’s a wanted man. –Shiloh­­­

No. No he’s not. –Kevin

Thanks for shooting me down, Kevin. –Shiloh

You’re welcome. –Kevin

My body’s turning silver and metallic. –Humphrey

What is this movie about? -Boston

A drug dealer. –Kevin

The MTC was the worst nine months of my life. –Micah

Nine months? -Eric

I’m in denial about it right now, actually. –Boston

That’s a really cute face. Guilty, but too cute to convict. –Amanda

Stabbed. –Humphrey

Gored, more like. –Joey

No one wants to be a Slytherpuff. No one. –Kevin

Whenever I think of Hufflepuff, it makes me think of Jigglypuff. And then I just want to sing. –Brandon

They’re not just hats, they’re like awkward scalp trophies. –Kevin

I hate this game of having to wear shoes. –Shiloh

That was weird. I feel like my senses are losing their strength. –Brandon

It’s too early for that. –Katie

How’s it lookin’ ladies? -Humphrey

It looks like I need to go touch up Kevin. –Shiloh

You’re into touching up, eh? -Humphrey

I am so into touching up. –Shiloh

I’ll bring you my hungry if you bring me your poor. –Eric

Someone shoot some energy into my arm. Go. –Emma

Holding for professionalism. –Brandon

Never ever ever piss off a woman. –Jacob

Write that down. –Emma

There’s a big light in the background. –Micah

So you kissed for no reason. –Emma

You never kiss for no reason. –Joey

I think that’s as close to critical as I’m gonna get tonight. –Humphrey

Remember . . . best idea. –Brandon

We’re moving on to the Widowmaker shot . . . I mean the Salt & Pepper shot. –Boston

With a name like Boston, you’ve gotta have personality. –Brandon

You know what I don’t like about romantic comedies? All the funny parts. I just don’t laugh. My life isn’t funny. –Brandon

It’s about time someone . . . –Boston

Acknowledged your veganism. –Kevin

We’re totes friends now. –Spencer

Are you in my way? -Spencer

I don’t know. Am I? -Felicia

He’s an alien. From planet Zantar. –Joey

Crouching makes you grouchy. Grouchy grouchy. –Joey

Do you want to be an accomplice? -Rachel

Sorry for hitting your boob. –Boston

Don’t worry. It happens all the time. They’re pretty inconvenient sometimes. –Felicia

I can imagine. –Humphrey

But I believe they’re worth the trouble. –Joey

I think I’m gonna wander over here and see how awkward I can make y’all feel. –Felicia

Let’s try it with the knife, and then we’ll call it good. –Brandon

The camera’s in the way of me working. –Sarah

What did I just say? Don’t quote me on that. –Felicia

2k. Oh, Y2K. Hahaha. –Emma

It’s 3 in the morning. Do we care? -Spencer

See my eyes? Glazed over. –Joey

I think he said when we’re rolling we have to kiss. –Sarah

Are you giggly too? -Emma

I don’t giggle. –Shiloh

You know what I just realized? I don’t think my mom’s ever seen me kiss on film before. –Joey

I don’t think . . . oh wait. My mom’s seen me kiss a married woman before. –Spencer

Hey Shiloh. This one’s for you. Why did the woman cross the road? -Eric

Why. –Shiloh

Why does it matter? The real question is, why was she out of the kitchen? -Eric

You got the punch line wrong. It’s ‘Why was she out of the kitchen, and where did she get any shoes?’ If you’re gonna go that far, you gotta go all the way. –Joey

You guys are horrible. –Shiloh

It’s awkward to kiss without George here. –Sarah

Dang. I think I’ve drunk out of both of these. –Humphrey

How about this? *holds out the Leatherman* -Katie

Why would I want a useful tool? -Brandon

It’s weird to you, it’s comfortable for others. –Boston

Nice head on the wall. –Micah

They think watching TV rots your brain – try making TV. –Joey