Missed Connections pt 2

Public Service Announcement

Because y’all’s ridiculousness is so prolific, I’ve had to split this movie into 2 posts. I hope you’re happy. Now back to the quotes.

I’m so sick that furniture is friendly. I don’t know how that makes sense, but it does. –Cliff

Don’t prep the poop. –Brandon

You know, if we have downtime, Guru’s does karaoke til like, 11 pm. –Boston

Our director can be our stand-in. –Rob

No, I’m yellow. –Brandon

Do you want to move that car? If all of us pick it up, I think we can get it. –Boston

I feel oddly calm. There must be a storm comin’. –Joey

Lawrence, you are one of the lowest maintenance workers. –Rob

Are you a diva? -Lawrence

He makes other divas look like Cinderella. –Rob

Usually I’m not that easy. –Emma

You’re being quoted. –Lawrence

No I’m not. Shiloh’s . . . crap. –Emma

I can measure her height with a ruler. And I can measure her weight with her hair. –Lawrence

That’s my motto for relationships. And life. Just give up. –Lawrence

Everything’s a felony in an airport. –Rob

Guys, I wanna kiss you. –Micah

Then why don’t you? -Casey

Woman, take your pants off. Take your jeans off. –Lawrence

Hey, slackers. Micah needs you. –Boston

This is kind of a fun job. –Boston

I need my purse. Freak. –Tatum

Can we get the purse freak? -Boston

Break a leg. –Lawrence

I’ll break your leg. –Kevin

Help! We need a gaffer. STAT! -Boston

Holding on gaffers, again. –Boston

Typical. –Joey

What in the world is Dracula doing here? -Joey

Why are you wearing gloves? -Casey

Because you’re not. –Josh

Are anyone else’s legs twitching? No? It’s just mine then. –Boston

I have nerve damage. All the wiring’s wrong in my body. –Lawrence

Uh, rehearsal’s up. Do what Micah says. –Boston

Oh hey, look, it’s my girlfriend. –Lawrence

It’s like we’ve done this before. –Joey

It’s up there, on the scale of best. –Micah

It’s like a slumber party. –Tatum

Minus the slumber. Minus even the idea that we might sleep. –Kevin

That’s how it feels when it gets late. Now wait until you’ve screwed up 7 more takes. –Kevin

There are plenty of fish in the barrel. And there are plenty of barrels in the sea. –Lawrence

It’s really late, and you guys are really tired, which makes this really great for me. –Kevin

It looks really green in the bathroom. –Micah

That’s cuz I just used the bathroom. –Lawrence

Remember that time I almost killed you with a lightbulb? -Casey

Yeah, I remember that time. –Katie

I know. Can we have a re-enactment? -Kevin

Can I just play Trent? -Felicia

Oh my b-board. –Joey

Don’t say naked while you’re touching me. –Tatum

Can you say that word without making faces? -Tatum

Wow, that pocket is bulging with something. –Joey

Stop it, Lawrence. Please. –Joey

You’re a walking Arrowhead advertisement. –Lawrence

Who-wha’d you do? -Tatum

Can’t you go the right way for once? -Tatum

That’s what my girlfriend always tells me. –Lawrence

Let’s thrill him with the power of dance. –Brandon

Where did you learn that? -Rhonda

Prison. –Boston

Look at the pretty lights. –Joey

Our actress can read. I’m excited about this. –Joey

You can’t yoink something somebody’s given up. –Kevin

Am I the only one who knows American colloquialisms? -Joey

I got sabotaged. –Brandon

Who talks that way? I talk like that. –Joey

I’m not a black and white guy. I’m a red and yellow and green guy. –Joey

So, they lied to us. –Shiloh

Yeah. But I still wanna stick a quarter in there. –Kevin

That sounds like really bad advice. –Kevin

Yep. It is. –Joey

Dad gum it! -Spencer

Careful with the language. –Brandon

Holding for professionalism. –Brandon

You’re gonna be holding for a while then. –Kevin

Now that everyone’s messed up once, we’re good. –Brandon

That didn’t disorient me at all. –Kevin

He could do whatever, and that’s what he did? -Lawrence

Stop. I don’t know if you’re trying to do something nice to me. –Emma

Did Emma disappear in there? -Brandon

You have a shoe in your pocket. –Lawrence

Yeah. You gonna take it out anytime soon? -Emma

Remember that one time we were belting, and then we were like, what the hell? -Lawrence

DIT moves. –Boston

DIT is in the way. –Shiloh

Ooh. Sassy. –Boston

What are you gonna do about it? -Shiloh

. . . Cry. –Boston

I didn’t know you could have a happy growl. –Brandon

Writers are meant to be . . . –Joey

Read. –Kevin

Thrown under the bus. –Boston

Did I just get shushed? -Joey

Please play Land Before Time music. –Boston

Hey look, you’re a runner again. Pajama runner. –Brandon

I will kill you. –Micah

I’ll kill you. –Humphrey

I will kill you til you’re dead. –Micah

Why the frick would you be afraid of old people? What can they do to you? -Humphrey

It’s his fault. –Katie

She started it. –Spencer

Don’t tell me what to do, Spencer! -Katie

Children, if you can’t play nice together, we’re gonna have to beat ya. –Shiloh

I find it interesting that you said that to the redhead. –Joey

Never get that close to a vampire victim’s neck. –Joey

Whoo. It’s gettin’ kinda steamy back here. –Spencer

Don’t wake up Rachel. She’s like a rabid bear. –Joey

I’ve decided epaulets are more trouble than they’re worth. –Joey

Re-setting death trap. –Joey

Please hold while Death Star is offline. –Rob

Boston the stalker, everyone. –Spencer

We’re in the same decade. It’s not that long. –Katie

Water’s good for you. Makes you feel good. –Eric

Boston makes you feel good. –Kevin

Mmm. Tent salad. Delicious. –Joey

It’s not the Minotaur’s fault that his father raised him on a diet of human flesh. –Shiloh

*in a whisper* I just touched Boston’s butt. –

I’m always around Kevin. I have to touch his face all the time! -Shiloh

Do not point that finger at me. I’ll set Katie on you. –Shiloh

K guys, I’m really stressed – I lost my dad two days ago. –Boston

You think you’re stressed? My dad died yesterday. –Spencer

Kevin, what happened? You look like you got your ass kicked. –Shiloh

It was just one punch. –Kevin

Watch out. My stomach punches back. –Joey

I could be the next God. –Emma

Men blush. –Joey

They do? -Rachel

That’s why he needs 3 sandwiches at the sandwich shop. I get it now. –Felicia

Joey can write a story with logical flow. –Kevin

If I sit on this, then I feel better. –Eric

Thank you, go go girl. –Joey

You’re an angel who’s not fully committed to marriage. Fictionally speaking! -Brandon

Ooh, nice airplane sound. –Joey

My favorite sound in the world. –Brandon

I just wanna be a spy. –Jordan

Today’s quote book, tomorrow’s blackmail. –Joey

Was that when . . . –Katie

You scared the pants off her? Yeah. It was kinda awkward with her running around pantsless for a few hours. –Joey

There is no better word than sleepy when you’re sleepy. You should know that. –Brandon

Have you seen the cords from yesterday? -Cliff

Ooh, those are important. We can’t lose those. –Joey

. . . –Cliff and Spencer

Not that you need me to tell you that. –Joey

Who am I kidding? What gentleman our age doesn’t know how to make a paper football? -Joey

That’s not a quote, those are roses! -Joey

Dang you for having the one job I cannot yell at. –Boston

Shiloh. –Emma

Qua? -Shiloh

Were you laughing at me? -Emma

. . . No comment. –Shiloh

Tell Rachel to stop making the props so delicious. –Eric

If anyone asks, it was not me who finished the cantaloupe. –Kevin

Most people only have trouble when they’re actually moving. –Kevin

I’m just special like that. –Shiloh

Coffin brochures, not coffee. No one cares about coffee. –Kevin

Wanna just go from denture cream? -Kevin

Yeah, let’s get the denture cream. –Brandon

What’s wrong? -Kevin

Nothing. I’ll be right back. –Shiloh

You can’t sigh like that and then walk away! -Kevin

I said I’ll be right back. –Shiloh

After you said nothing!! -Kevin

You’re not making me feel any more grown up about this. –Kevin

You’re all fired. –Kevin

I feel like a 5 year old. –Kevin

Go jump on the shiny board. –Micah

Stop meating me! -Micah (Meating: hitting with meat; used instead of beating)

You can’t hit me, I’m talent. –Kevin

Did you dismantle your phone? -Spencer

Did I? -Kevin

The sandwich is speaking. –Kevin

He’s used to hearing ‘thanks for trying.’ He’s a Hufflepuff. –Kevin

American Heritage? That’s your last class? -Kevin

Shut up. –Rachel

Where’s my eye line? -Tatum

That is an excellent question. –Micah

Don’t you dare rehearse this. –Boston

Boom, I can see your shadow on the wall. –Micah

Wow. That sucked. –Bryce

Well, that’s . . . precious. –Katie

It’s like in Leverage. I’m the criminal mastermind. Let’s steal a movie! -Cliff

Holding for bubbleheads. –Brandon

We got the good parts. –Micah

The teachers at school must love you. –Katie

No, the teachers hate me, because they realize when I’m making fun of them. –Boston

Welcome to another exciting episode of Boston On Set. –Boston

I don’t know how that got there. –Spencer

Please don’t stick it in your mouth. –Shiloh

I’ll stick it in your mouth. –Spencer

I will . . . shank you. –Shiloh

Those two things have gotta be equal. Sticking a piece of something in someone’s mouth and getting shanked. –Spencer

People like me when I have m&m’s. –Emma

What 5^th grader had to lip-synch American Woman? -Katie

The camera just drained your brain juice. –Brandon

He didn’t wanna kill him, he just wanted to give him some nummies. –Brandon

I was gonna crawl under the piano. –Katie

Girls usually climb on top of the piano. –Eric

How come our camera doesn’t do this? -Eric

Those words rhyme. Back off. –Micah

Just let me lick your hands. –Renny

Don’t creep in to assassinate somebody unless you’re gonna go through with it. It’ll usually turn out badly.

–Humphrey

Thank you everyone for cooperating, and not calling each other names. Like idiot-head. –Boston

When they first come out, they look like little aliens. –Brandon

Did your wife have an alien yet? -Spencer

Make sure there are no cops around. –Spencer

Rob, are there any cops around? Rob says no. –Boston

We can’t house actors. It’s SAG rules. –Micah

I think they added Hufflepuff just to make all the other houses look cooler. –Eric

Can we fake shoot now? -Boston

An ounce of wind that would make normal people explode. –

Herbal Essences. Also for nurses. –Boston

No. Now for nurses. –Kevin

I just have a dance party going on in my head. –Renny

24/7 it seems. –Kevin

On a scale of 1-cute, she’s up there. –Micah

Film sets are never the temperature they’re supposed to be. –Cliff

You look more well done than chicken right now. –Eric

Overcompensation is the key, and not an accident. –Boston

How long until we blow circuits and stuff? -Humphrey

Screw it. –Micah

That’s the right attitude. –Boston

It’s well know that I’m a closet homosexual. –Boston

Facebook’s the devil. –Micah

Shiloh, don’t make faces at me. –Humphrey

Commando O’Keefe coming through. –Boston

Is that because he’s Commando, or going without briefs? -Joey

Where’s Mortimer? -Katie

He’s been taken. Taken by Tatum. She jacked him. –Humphrey

Spencer, how long could you go without saying freakin’? -Katie

. . . I don’t know. –Spencer

You can rhyme everything else on this set, but not my name? -Katie

Is that a turtle in your pocket, or are you robbing an old man? -Boston

Are those two things mutually exclusive? -Cliff

I feel like my book is twice as short as yours. –Humphrey

You mean, half as long? -Kevin

Blankity blank blank mother blanker. –Micah

Hey. Let’s keep it child friendly on set. –Humphrey

Why? -Kevin

If you don’t like it, then go home, Hufflepuff. –Micah

Fine. I’m out. Who’s with me? . . . I need a ride. –Humphrey

As the night goes on, I feel like I get progressively more useless. –Humphrey

Well, you do. –Micah

You have to stop reading your book so you can get quotes! -Kevin

Nothing’s better than Slarty Bartfast. –Kevin

Any man with his face in a glacier is ok in my book. –Kevin

There’s something tinkling over there. –Cliff

It’s the sound cables. –Micah

I’ll wrangle them, so they don’t tinkle. –Brandon

I forget he’s Asian. –Boston

I called my peeps and told them I’d be late. –Micah

Yeah, you just didn’t call your higher ups. –Brandon

I will slay you with this boom. –Humphrey

Can we get a fan on set? My self-esteem is getting low. –Brandon

What a shoddy writer. –Humphrey

I hate you all. With a burning passion. –Joey

I can’t find my script. I only find peanut m&m’s. –Tatum

I had a Game Over in my dream about raising a baby. –Brandon

Ninja sword preferred. For cutting. –Brandon

Red m&m’s again, huh? -Emma

Red m&m’s? -Katie

Shiloh! We have an inside joke! -Emma

They just feel so good in your mouth. Crack, smooth, yum. –Tatum

Are you joking with me, or did someone just say cut? -Boston

Let’s try and keep this channel to a professional level. –Micah

Moving to a different channel, over. –Casey

Camera’s such a bunch of douchebags. –Micah

Yeah. I’m glad I’m not one of those guys. –Humphrey

Maybe it’s my lucky piece of floss. –Renny

Just return it. You have a defective face. –Rob

Why’d you give me turkey, man? You know I’m allergic to turkey. –Casey

Was it good? -Humphrey

. . . Yeah. –Casey

I need to lose some weight so I can become a back foot massager. –Brandon

If the world can figure out an iPod, they can figure out a healthy pool table fish tank. –

Can I blame the medication again? -Eric

Oh, my sick voice is back. My deep, sexy sick voice. –Kevin

Since they’re doing scene 31 first WHY CAN I NEVER FIND MY BAG?!? -Kevin

So awkward. –Micah

George brought cake! -Micah

Joey, we need your body. –Lawrence

No, we don’t need your body, we need your brain. –Brandon

I need your body. They need your brain. –Lawrence

Is it cliché, or is it classics? -Joey

That’s so Joey. –Boston

I’m always lookin’ for a way to get fired. –Humphrey

Yet again, Spencer is fired. –Boston

Cool kids don’t repeat! -Emma

What? -Eric

Cool kids don’t repeat! -Emma

I heard that page turning. –Casey

You did not! -Emma

Is that dolly really worth the trouble? -Joey

Shut your mouth. –Micah

Holding on 1^st AD. –Casey

YOU’RE FIRED! -Boston

Someone spilled milk on the director. We fired him. –Casey

Should I have a trail of white powder on my nose when she comes in? -Lawrence

What’s a kiss-gram? I want one. –Spencer

It’s like a Teddy graham. –Boston

Hey Marc, meet our sound guy. –Tatum

You’re my huggably handsome hero, Micah. –Lawrence

I try. –Micah

You do more than try. –Lawrence

Actually, I’m a horrible person to hug. Because I’m all bone. –Micah

Is there someone we can send over and tell them to shut the heck up? -Spencer

And you are? -Jacob

. . . Emma. –Emma

I’m Jacob. –Jacob

I think I’m gonna stop eating. I’m not eating at all next week. –Tatum

Hey red hair. –Lawrence

Hey brown skin. –Katie

Lawrence has pink lip gloss on. Of course I’m laughing. –Shiloh

It’s glittery too. –Kevin

I’m luscious. –Lawrence

I think the word luscious makes our Shiloh a little uncomfortable. Especially when you say it as low as you can. Luscious. –Kevin

*several repeats of the word later*

I hate you both. –Shiloh

You don’t hate us. You love us. Because we’re . . . –Kevin

Luscious. –Kevin and Lawrence

Hey guys, remember how it used to be cold in here? -Humphrey

I have nothing to say to you. –Shiloh

Good. I like it that way. –Kevin

Don’t you think? -Emma

Occasionally, but I try not to do it too often. It makes my head hurt. –Shiloh

. . . What? -Emma

Can we make way for important people, please? -Boston

I told you. We’re shooting the cake. –Humphrey

It’s funny that you all come to me to write in it. You can do it yourself. –Shiloh

You’re like the great moderator that determines if what was said is quote-worthy. Can I put that in the book? -Brandon

Holy crap, you look AMAZING! -Micah

You sound so surprised. –Spencer

There’s a human on my back. –Lawrence

Kevin has a psychic weapon over me, and it sucks. –Shiloh

I did it once, and I was initiated into the grip clique. –Micah

It made you all cute and bashful. I like it. –Brandon

Shoes are so overrated. –Tatum

Indeed. –Brandon and Lawrence

What are all those little kids in Africa complaining about? -Tatum

Great. I’m working for one of the three freakin’ stooges! -Jacob

Emma moves faster than my consciousness. –Boston

Oh, look at Boston showing off. –Shiloh

Again. –Emma and Shiloh

I’m not showing off, I’m just doing things I enjoy. But wasn’t that cool? -Boston

I like your earrings, but get out of the shot. –Kevin

You know that song that goes ‘Jason Derulo’? -Emma

You mean, all of them? -Felicia

I just really want a popsicle now. –Felicia

I do not want to be objectified by women. –Joey

I’m out. –Boston

How did you know? -Micah

I can see it in the monitor. –Boston

Poking a camera is not quite as friendly as poking a stomach. –Joey

I wouldn’t kill willy-nilly! -Emma

Emotional make-out? I missed something. –Humphrey

You guys are like the Breakfast Club. You all have your own issues, and you’re all sitting around talking about them. –Boston

I’m gonna blow my nose. –Boston

In the nose blowing place. –Kevin

Kevin has a laser mind. –Joey

Boston. Man of many talents. And positions. –Brandon

Pikachu, I un-choose you! -Joey

I’m pretty sure birth is involuntary for the one being birthed. –Kevin

I’m shooting my arm stench at you. –Micah

I love touching these little balls. –Micah

You’re a tool. –Spencer

So are you. At least I’m on camera. –Kevin

Hold for the stupid children laughing. –Spencer

‘I’m punctual! I’m a Hufflepuff.’ At least you have something going for you. –Kevin

Feet. –Eric

Well-spotted, Eric. –Kevin

Most people have them. –Shiloh

Why is that funny? -Kevin

Why is that not funny? Babies coming into the world is funny. –Micah

I just slapped you with my mind. –Spencer

I just slapped you with my hand. –Kevin

Eww, you just stuck your hand in my mouth. –Spencer

No I didn’t. –Kevin

Yes you did. You have spit all over your hand now. –Spencer

Yeah, except it never happened. –Kevin

This is how I hold my phone. –Spencer

It gives me brain cancer quicker. –Micah

How many people don’t know what euphoria starts with? -Humphrey

Stop ruining everything. –Kevin

Hey, we didn’t take a poo shot. Of you eating poo. –Spencer

Oh. –Micah

Yeah, that can wait. –Boston

Please quit petting him. –Humphrey

Don’t tell me what to do. –Micah

That’s the cutest little Ho I’ve ever seen. –Joey

There’s a baby girl in my ward that could fly with her ears. –Cliff

That’s twice on the same nipple! That should be outlawed! -Humphrey

My grip is a little weak today. –Lawrence

Then, here. Let me help you. *squeezes water bottle* -Kevin

Whose alcohol is this? -Joey

Mine! -Katie

My stamina is not my strong suit. –Lawrence

I’m gonna be naked right over here. –Lawrence